Klutzy Heroes
by ReluctantSlashFan
Summary: Sheppard and Rodney are injured while jogging.


**One more for you guys. I love writing for John and Rodney. They were, by far, one of my favorite duos in the Stargate universe (second to Jack and Daniel). But I have a feeling I went a little overboard with Rodney's complaining. So, if I did, please let me know.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, I still don't own 'em, and leave me a comment if you can.**

**See ya!**

* * *

Usually Sheppard ran with Ronon, but the Satedan had come down with the stomach virus that was going around the city, leaving the Colonel to run by himself. Or, well, he wished he was by himself.

"I don't get… the point of… running for sport," Rodney puffed as he tried to keep up with John. "It doesn't make… much sense… to me."

"Then why are you here?" Sheppard muttered with just an edge of irritation in his voice.

"I mean," McKay continued as if Sheppard hadn't said anything. "I get… running for our… lives. It's our lives… and I happened to… enjoy mine, but… this…" Rodney gestured around as they ran through the east side of the city. "…this I don't get."

John skidded to a halt, Rodney over shooting him a few steps before stopping and looking over his shoulder. "What?" the physicist asked between quick breaths. "Why'd… we stop?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What?"

"Running? With me? You hate running. You just went on a twenty minute tangent about how much you hate it," Sheppard replied gesturing behind them, trying hard not recall every, single complaint Rodney had. Usually he could take the complaining with a grain of salt, but today the physicist had used up every ounce of Sheppard's patience.

"Do you want me to go? I thought we were having a great time, a real bonding moment, but if you want me to leave I'll leave," Rodney stated sardonically, his breathing back under his control, his voice bordering on bitter. Sheppard could tell it was all an act, the scientist was trying desperately to hide the hurt he couldn't quite get out of his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, Sheppard slowly said, "I'm sorry. Let's just keep running."

"I wouldn't want to intrude on 'Sheppard time,'" Rodney muttered darkly. "That's the last thing any of us…"

"Rodney, let's just keep running. I want you here, okay?"

The scientist eyed the colonel warily, but finally nodded and they began running again. "I would have left you know. I'm sure I can find several things to keep my time occupied. Ancient tech, one of Zelenka's assistant's _delightful_ jokes, a new batch of blue jello in…"

"How's things, Rodney?" Sheppard interrupted the muttering scientist. Something had had to of happened to get the usual anti-excise Rodney to go running. "Did you and Zelenka have a fight?" Sheppard fought a grin at the dark look McKay threw him.

"We are not a couple, Sheppard," Rodney snapped but his eyes darkened. Sheppard waited, slowing down so he was running at Rodney's speed. It was a full six seconds before McKay broke and said, "Why did he need that assistant? If anyone needs an assistant it's me. What did he do to convince Elizabeth…?"

"He asked her," Sheppard said, once again cutting the scientist off.

"Oh," Rodney stated, a little surprised, and it was Sheppard's turn to over shoot him when the scientist stopped running. "Are you sure?" he turned to John, giving him an incredulous look. "There has to be more to it than that."

"I was there, Rodney," the colonel replied as he walked back to McKay's side. "He walked in, asked if he could have an assistant, and Elizabeth agreed. She could give you one too. You know if you asked."

As they began running again, McKay scoffed, shook his head, and said, "I don't need an assistant. I don't need some intern/grad student/person touching my things and spitting in my coffee."

"I doubt they'd spit…" he trailed off. If he knew Rodney like he did, and in two years he had gotten to know the scientist pretty well, he was bound to tick off this hypothetical assistant. There was a chance his HA could easily spit in his coffee. Maybe he/she would think it was worth it, losing their job. "Then don't let them get your coffee," Sheppard opted to say instead.

"I don't want someone hovering over my shoulder, being way to damn 'helpful,' and drinking my coffee when…" Rodney shook his head. "She drank my coffee yesterday. She claims it was an accident, but I know better. I told Zelenka she had to go, or at least she had to stay out of the lab, but he wouldn't listen to me. And she hums; hums. I hate when people hum, it's distracting and…"

Rodney trailed off into dark muttering, words that John couldn't quite pick up, but he knew the scientist was cursing Zelenka's assistant. "And she tells these god awful jokes, and she talks with her hands. Imagine trying to conduct experiments on a piece of ancient technology when this is going on." Rodney gave Sheppard a demonstration, his hands flailing everywhere, losing his balance in the process.

As he fell, his hand slammed into Sheppard's face, sending both men to the ground. John didn't quite blackout, but his vision was inked out for a few seconds. When he came back to himself, which had to be about two seconds later, Rodney was howling about his ankle.

"I think it's broken. Oh my God, it's broken. It hurts so bad."

Sheppard sat up, his nose on fire, something warm dripping down his face. He tasted something metallic in his mouth, and when he brought his hand up to his face more warm liquid smeared across his finger tips. He pulled his hand away, spotting blood, a lot of blood.

"Calm down," he snapped at the scientist. McKay looked up, his eyes widening at the sight of all the blood, but he then returned to his ankle.

"Calm down? My ankle is potentially broken and you want me to calm down" the scientist snapped clutching his ankle tighter. "I'd have better luck figuring out how to go through time. Something that I know is completely possible if Elizabeth's counterpart has anything to say about it."

Sheppard ignored Rodney, instead pushing himself to his feet. He didn't feel dizzy or sick at the change in altitude, so there was a chance he didn't have a concussion. He just had to worry about his potentially broken nose and Rodney's ankle (which was most likely sprained and not broken).

"Come on," he said offering his hand.

"It's all covered in blood," Rodney replied staying on the ground. "What if you drop me and I do further damage to my ankle?"

"I won't," Sheppard assured the scientist.

"How do you know? Just call Beckett. He can send a med team down here and…"

"Sometimes the radios don't work this far down, McKay. Now take my fricking hand and let me help you up." McKay hesitated for a moment longer then reached up, took Sheppard's hand, and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

He hissed when he put pressure on his ankle and said, "I think I really did a number on it. I may never be able to walk normal again, and running will be out of the question.

"I'm an invalid, now. Destined to be trapped in my lab for the rest of the expedition with Zelenka and his stupid assistant," Rodney continued slowly, his voice depressed.

Sheppard thought McKay was over-exaggerating, but he didn't say anything. He merely slung the scientist's arm over his shoulder and started guiding back into the heart of the city, towards the infirmary.

"Just think of all the planets I'll never get to explore, all the technology I'll never get to discover. M-maybe it'll be so bad they send me back to earth. I can't go back to Area 51, not after living here for so long. It just wouldn't be the same."

"Rodney," Sheppard growled, moping at his face with his free hand, wiping more blood off his lips, "you're fine. You probably just sprained it."

"How do you know? Did you look at it? No." McKay shook his head, glancing Sheppard's way. "You're damn lucky you weren't Batman when Barbara Gordon was shot by The Joker. She never would have become The Oracle. She would have just held out hope that one day she'd be able to walk again." John rolled his eyes, fighting the urge to dump the scientist on the ground and make him walk. He was using the ankle with barely a limp, but was too trapped in his 'depression' to really notice.

Softly, Sheppard heard Rodney whisper, "Alas, like Barbara Gordon, my days as a biped are behind me."

By the time they made it to the infirmary, Sheppard's nose had stopped bleeding and he had come very close to throwing Rodney off a balcony (this time sans an ancient device). The scientist was now convinced he could be the next Dr. Xavier, mentoring new scientists in the comfort of the alleged wheelchair he was going to be banished to for the rest of his life.

"What happened?" Beckett asked the moment the two guys stepped into the infirmary.

"Mishap while running," Sheppard replied settling Rodney on one of the beds. "I'm fine, but Captain America over there thinks he broke his ankle, but I'm pretty sure it's just sprained. He was walking on it while we were heading back here."

Rodney either didn't hear him or chose to ignore him because he turned to Beckett and said, "I need every test you've got performed on my ankle. I need to know what I'm dealing with and if I need to be sent back to…"

"We'll take care of you, Rodney," Beckett stated, cutting the scientist off. "Just rest and let me look Colonel Sheppard over first."

"I'm fine," Sheppard insisted.

"Son, you're covered in blood," the doctor replied and gestured for him to have a seat on the other unoccupied bed. "Let me make sure you haven't broken any bones."

It took a while, but eventually Sheppard was cleared to go, diagnosed with nothing more than a sore nose. He stuck around, however, waiting for news on McKay, and wasn't surprised when Beckett told the scientist he had just sprained his ankle.

"B-but I can't have _just_ sprained it. I am certain I heard a crack, maybe a snap. It has to be broken, it might need surgery…"

"Rodney, I checked your x-rays twice. It's jus' a sprain. I've wrapped it; I've given you some ibuprofen and strict instructions to stay off it for a couple of days. That is all I can do for you."

"Are you sure…?"

"Rodney," Beckett snapped pointing at the door. Sheppard knew Carson was a patient guy, the biggest marshmallow in Atlantis, but even he could get pushed too far, and sometimes Rodney just didn't know when to quit.

"Fine," the scientist sighed, getting to his feet. He collected his crutches, Sheppard grabbed his pills, his shoe, and an ice packet, and they left the infirmary together.

"So, Barbara, what have you got planned today?" Sheppard questioned, grinning when he received a glare from Rodney. "Okay, okay Charles, I get it. I've stepped over the line."

"I need to take a shower," Rodney snapped as he snatched his stuff away from Sheppard.

"Oh, come on Niles, I didn't mean it," John called after McKay's retreating back, awkwardly hobbling as he juggled all his stuff. Sheppard sighed and then quickly chased after the scientist. "Let me take that stuff."

"I'm fine," McKay said stiffly.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll stop. Just let me…" John easily took the stuff from Rodney, and they continued down the hallway. It was quiet for a moment, but finally John asked, "Do you want to beat me at chess?"

For a while Rodney wouldn't look at him, no doubt contemplating Sheppard's offer, but finally he nodded and said, "Fine."

"Okay, but I have to tell you I've been practicing with Zelenka."

"So…"

"I could easily beat you. I beat Zelenka."

"Please, a toddler could beat Zelenka at chess," Rodney scoffed as they stopped outside his quarters. He waved his hand across the panel, the door opened, and they stepped inside. "I think his annoyingly bubbly assistant could beat him, too."

"Where's that damn board," Sheppard questioned just as McKay sat on his bed.

"Over there," the physicist replied gesturing to the corner. He tossed his shoe in the corner, and soon his other one joined it. He then took a couple pills, with the aid of some water sitting on his bedside table, and then placed the ice on his ankle.

By the time he had done all this, Sheppard had set up the board and taken a seat in McKay's desk chair.

"Why are you white?" Rodney asked sharply, gesturing to the board.

"Because you were white last time," John replied without looking up from the board.

"But you know that if I'm not white I tend to…"

"What's that Rodney?" Sheppard looked up, a smirk on his face.

"Just take your damn turn," McKay snapped with a sour look on his face. Sheppard grinned and moved his pawn two spaces.

"You know who enjoys chess," John commented as Rodney moved his own pawn, right in the path of John's.

"Who," the scientist asked warily.

"Charles Xavier," Sheppard replied moving another pawn.

"Then… then that makes you Magneto," Rodney pointed out quickly.

"Hey, I'd kill for powers like that. Moving anything magnetic. Who wouldn't want to pick up a car with my mind?"

"Professor X is more powerful than Magneto, though. That makes me superior to you."

Sheppard flicked Rodney's ankle, getting a yelp of pain, and he sarcastically said, "Yep, totally superior."


End file.
